why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
