Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You ate ashes out of my bong
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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