I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
