Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
