fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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