Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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