My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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