Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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