I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
