does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
