I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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