My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
