she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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