just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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