covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
