Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How does one acquire holy water?
and you fell through a lawn chair
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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