can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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