We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
