I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
