He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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