1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
