so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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