I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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