hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize