i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
