Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
