since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
