Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're my little dorito
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
