You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Text me some of your sweat
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
