dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
