drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
