and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
