but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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