I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
