You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
