I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dick very happy bro
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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