Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
