i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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