Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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