I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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