saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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