Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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