Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
