Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
