So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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