I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
