Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
