let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
