One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Drunk is not a location!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.