Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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