Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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