What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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