Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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