My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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