Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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