I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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