I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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