He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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