You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
