So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
