If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
