well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
