Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
