Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The adults are the big ones right?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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